Planning your Invitations
06/01/09The perfect invitation should reflect your own personal style, and also gives an indication of how formal your event is, but it should also be practical, giving your guests all the information they need in order to alleviate the stress of not knowing what to expect.
Quantity of Invitations
A very common mistake to make when you're just starting out with invitations is to not realise that the number of invitations you need is not equal to the number of guests you have. Invitations are sent to couples and families, not each individual person, so the quantity ends up being around 60% of the number of guests. This is also true for other shared items such as church booklets and thank you cards.
Sending your Invitations
Invitations should be sent approximately 6-8 weeks prior to your wedding. This gives your guests ample time to receive it, and then ample time to reply.
This time frame could be extended if:
1. Your guests are coming from overseas.
2. Your wedding is in a remote or island location.
3. Your wedding is during a holiday period such as Easter or Christmas.
If holidays and travel need to be organised, most couples find a simple 'save the date' card (sent 6 - 9 months prior to the wedding) a good idea. The wedding invitation itself should not be sent this early.
Response
The response should be returned to the 'host' (the party inviting the guest, usually the party paying for the event). Email addresses, although convenient, are not usually printed as the response address, as it seems to make the act of responding less important.
Think carefully about when your suppliers need final numbers, and then set the response date at least a week prior to this, as you'll no doubt have to chase a few latecomers. The most common time frame is 1 month prior to the event.
It's a good idea to add a tick box for your vegetarian guests, or simply add a sentence such as "please specify any special dietary requirements with your reply".
You can choose either to print the rsvp details on the bottom corner of your invitation, or send a separate card for your guests to fill out and return. It's also a good idea to repeat the rsvp address on the backs of your envelopes, so that if any get lost in the post they (should) at least come back to you. (Urban Weddings invitations come standard with printed envelopes, which include the reply address printed on the back flap)
Location
Is your ceremony at an unusual or hard to get to location? Including parking information, or a map to show which entrance of a park to use could make quite a difference to how stressed (or late) your guests are on your wedding day.
If you do choose to include a map, it might be a good idea to include the proximity of the reception venue in relation to the ceremony. If nearby, guests may choose alternative parking and walk to the ceremony or reception for greater convenience later in the night.
Dress Code
Whether it's a casual beach wedding or black tie affair, a dress code should always be included on your invitation. You might think that your guests will know what to wear by reading where the venue is, however this is usually not the case. A beach wedding will have some guests arrive in casual wear (because it's the beach) and others in more formal attire (because it's a wedding). The result is everyone feeling under or overdressed.
Smart Casual
(light pants, light shoes, mid length skirts)
Semi Formal or Lounge Suit
(dark pants, dark shoes, dress shirt, tie optional, cocktail for girls, heels)
Formal
(dark pants, dark shoes, l/s shirt, tie, mid to long length skirt, heels)
Black Tie*
(suit with bow tie, long length skirt)
*If you have decided to ask guests to dress in black tie, you may like to contact a formal wear supplier, as most will give a discount to your guests if you register your event with them.
Children
We are always asked this tricky question, and it's obviously different for your own families. 'How do I politely say that children aren't invited to the wedding?'. I sometimes answer that I have 3 children, and I can think of nothing better than having a lovely night out without them (even though I love them to bits). So firstly, keep in mind that parents might not be as offended as you think.
Secondly, if you're able to have them at the ceremony, you could include a simple sentence at the base on the invitation "Children are most welcome at our ceremony, however the reception venue is not suitable for Children and we therefore ask that you make alternative arrangements".
If you would prefer them to not be at the ceremony either, perhaps say something like "As we would like all of our friends with children to have a relaxing, carefree day, we have decided to make our wedding an 'adults only' event".
Gift Registries and Wishing Wells
Although a small minority of guests still find them a bit offensive, most guests these days accept that wishing wells (the gift of money in an envelope rather than a purchased gift) are practical for the modern couple who have usually been living together for quite some time. There are a number of poems to use when informing your guests that you're having a wishing well.
If you don't wish to offend anyone you could choose to have both a registry (with a small selection of gifts) "or alternatively a wishing well will be placed at the reception".
Don't forget that if you are having a gift registry, you will need to register prior to organising your invitations, as the reference number and contact details will need to be printed. This doesn't mean however that you have to select all of your gifts there and then. You can simply register, obtain the number and return later to make your selections.
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